Beauty
We all live in a society in which we must constantly work to chip away at the ideas and beliefs that have crystallized into vortices, within the flowing river of our collective minds. The gift of humanity that has been given to us is extraordinary. But as we have found, it comes with a price. We must learn to free ourselves of the ego, patterns, and habitual beliefs we hold onto so tightly, that cost us greatly in our human experience. This is our only chance to find unity with each other; we must all realize that we are so much more than our flaws. We must come to the understanding that all our glasses are full to the brim, with preconceived notions of truth. And emptying our cups is the only way to be open to unity, to approach diversity with an open mind and open heart. When are cups are full, we do not have any room to accept anything else in, especially something unlike what our cup is already full of. We must do this so we can learn to appreciate that we are all, at our cores, interconnected and interdependent. Coming to the awareness that the happiness and security of one is intertwined with all, we can progress. And most importantly, we need to see that we are all teachers. We all have a responsibility to be a teacher to our fellow human being, a duty to humanity to teach through our speech and actions.
As we exist as both student and teacher to every other human being, we all must accept the dignity, intelligence, and uniqueness of the other. We need to empty our cup to allow the other to fill us. There is a wonderful story, written by the great Sufi mystic, Jallaludin Rumi, called The Philosopher and the Skipper. It is descriptive of how we are so closed to what others can teach us, that we are essentially blind. The philosopher, ‘Ali, was so condescending—due to his belief that he knew all there is to know—that he was incapable of any openness which would allow him to learn from his environment or others. He wished to be teacher to all, yet still he saw everyone else as ignorant and unimportant. In his arrogance, he never accepted an invitation to learn how to swim from those around him who he demeaned. And in the end, he had to be kept alive by these same people who he saw as less than him. He never took the time to recognize the gift of knowledge in others, and this time it almost took his life. This moment of urgency, of life or death, was an awakening for ‘Ali that was desperately needed. This was the situation that would finally break him out of his arrogance, which blocked him from seeing the world around him with an open mind, and an open heart. In his gratefulness to the one who saved him, ‘Ali gave a gift with an inscription on it which said, “Only empty objects remain on top of the water. Become empty of human attributes, and you will float on the ocean of creation.” ‘Ali realized that he was not able to see another with open eyes, open ears, and an open heart. If we wish to “float on the ocean of creation,” we must empty ourselves of all prejudice, and we must allow a new kind of connecting to begin, which only comes from an open heart
One characteristic that defines us as a race is our immense diversity that is contained within unity. Diversity that gives the world color, mystery, and exceptionality not found anywhere else in our solar system. Unfortunately, our diversity has also lead to complex problems, which can easily damage our human bonds and relationships linking the diversity. One of these problems, which has been prominent through the course of humanity, and has been hurting all of the human family, is based on our definition of what is beautiful. I think that this problem can be answered very simply—what’s beautiful is not always good, but what’s good is always beautiful. Still this problem does exist, and it may not be able to be answered so easily. Our society must work together to weed away the factors that are allowing this problem to flourish. We must teach each other about this problem, and most importantly we must open ourselves to those who are first to experience the pain that comes from this problem. To understand which individually unique designs of human diversity are most directly affected by this problem, we must understand the problem more completely.
What is beautiful has always been a question for all to ponder throughout all of human society. The concept of beauty, like other ideas humanity has forever pondered, like truth and love, is a formless and vague construct. Still, beauty has quite often has been defined throughout time, and continually changing with the times. Typically, great cultural periods brought the greatest change in the architecture regarding the established norms beauty for that time. Undoubtedly, this vague quality we call beauty is not the same at all times and for all persons; and we cannot deny that a variety of subjective and objective factors influence our opinion of what is beautiful. D.H. Lawrence said that, “Beauty is an experience, nothing else. It is not a fixed pattern or an arrangement of features. It is something felt, a glow or a communicated sense of fineness.” So how can a standard or certain set of norms even exist for something so beautifully intangible? The answer is complex, yet the standard is almost certain. The existence of the Eurocentric ideal of beauty is evident almost ubiquitously. We live in a world in which the exportation of a Eurocentric standard of beauty, the white beauty standard, has contributed to racism, prejudice, and personal frustration by all who won’t and can’t ever live up to it. It has not only hurt the self-image of women who do not fit the box of being white, but all women, white alike, who don’t fit the standard unconditionally.
Naomi Wolf called this standard of beauty, the “beauty myth,” which seems to describe ideas of beauty, ad infinitum. A noteworthy story that depicts a character dealing with the personal effects of this “myth” is, Your Ugly Too, by Loorie Moore. “That was the funny thing about beauty, thought Zöe. Look it up in the yellow pages, and you find a hundred entries, hostile with wit, cutesy with warning. But look up truth—ha! There was nothing at all” (Moore). The question remains: What is the truth that Zöe was really looking for? There is a beautiful adage, a line from a poem by John Keats, which may have helped her on this quest; “Beauty is truth, truth beauty—that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know” (Keats). At the expense of truth, in her botched attempt to overcome her inner feelings regarding having “been close but not quite” (Moore) pretty, Zöe struggles to remove herself from the status quo of the “beauty myth” Zöe recognized that a cultural myth existed of what beauty should be, and how women should conduct themselves. This was due in part to her failed attempts at relationships with men, who were, case in point, agents of perpetuation for the “unconscious hallucination” (Wolf) that modern women must be a peddler of beauty. Unfortunately, she did not understand a key facet of myths; the very nature of mythical constructs lends themselves to being debunked, refuted, and open to a process of demythologization.
Zöe’s situation is, in posse, a clear-cut version of a woman who has absorbed the “beauty myth,” when in veritate, she is a woman who has only conceptualized it, and in turn, misunderstood her place in the “myth,” leading herself into a travesty of a botched feminist existence. Zöe sadly lost her ability to view her inner world, and in turn, lost the sense of her god given, womanly beauty, which no myth can take away. Her dogged need to hold on to the misconceptions of how others saw her, as a result of how she saw her own reflection in the mirror of others, led to personal insights of herself that were all but true. Instead of lackadaisically buying into the “beauty myth,” feeling inadequate, in terms of physical beauty, instead of hiding from the museums and lights of the theater, she should have been, as Naomi Wolf writes, finding “new way to see,” and consequently discovering a new way to be seen.
Naomi Wolf writes of the fact that women need to find a “new way to see” themselves in the “cultural conspiracy,” and “unconscious hallucination” of the “beauty myth” (Wolf). She speaks of the “private reality” that has “colonized female consciousness.” She speaks of the “beauty myth,” as being a collusion of male, anti-feminist forces, “seeking right now to undo psychologically and covertly all the good things that feminism did for women materially and overtly. Naomi Wolf says that the myth has been used “to keep women under control by imprisoning their bodies,” that it is “a violent backlash against feminism that uses images of female beauty as a political weapon against women’s advancement.” The oppression and degradation of women in society has existed, and is going to exist until a critical mass of new eyes, new ears, and new hearts has been reached. But in the meantime, the truth that all women, of all races, classes, colors, and creeds, are infinitely beautiful, shall be etched into the hearts of all, so that it will be all we know on earth, and all we’ll ever need to know. So women’s endless perpetuation of being diminished behind what is solely a myth, will no longer exist; instead the perpetuation of being exalted by an essential truth—what is subjectively beautiful may not always be good, but what is good—the nature of woman—will always remain, verily beautiful.
Another story that portrays the Eurocentric standard of beauty is The Bluest Eye, by Toni Morrison. It is based on the struggle of a young, black female, battling with the idea that she will only be beautiful if she had blue eyes, amongst other things. The characters in the story all attempt to conform to this standard of beauty in one way or another. The standard of beauty they strive for is established by the society in which they live, and supported by members of the community. The characters view beauty as being directly linked with the own happiness. Their efforts to achieve happiness, to meet the norms of beauty, bring disturbing effects on their own self-esteem, as well as their interactions with others. Geraldine, an esteemed woman living in the community, matches the standard of beauty, and feels that anyone else not in accord with this idea of beauty is inferior to her. Pecola Breedlove, a young girl in the community, feels the need to also be beautiful within the ideal. She believes that her beauty is the only way for her and her family to be happy.
“Each night Pecola prayed for blue eyes. In her eleven years, no one had ever noticed Pecola. But with blue eyes, she thought, everything would be different. She would be so pretty that her parents would stop fighting. Her father would stop drinking. Her brother would stop running away. If only she could be beautiful. If only people would look at her” (Morrison).
Yet, as a young girl, she does not yet realize that this Eurocentric standard of beauty is something that she can never truly reach, because she is black. Since the whites are the prevailing force in the community, beauty is considered as close to white as possible. Beauty, in essence, is having blond hair and blue eyes, and white skin. A person who matches this standard is “good” and is respected for being so. Not only are all people measured by this standard, people are aware of it at an early age.
The effect on children is especially devastating. In The Bluest Eyes, Pecola Breedlove is an example of the damage brought on by feeling the need to conform to a standard of beauty early on in life. Pecola feels that beauty is the only way to solve all of her problems. She feels that if she becomes beautiful, her parents will no longer fight, her family will not be poor, and her father will no longer be a rapist. Pecola reached this mindset through events in her life as simple as the purchase of a Mary Jane candy bar. When Pecola approaches the shopkeeper to buy some candy, the man does not even bother to look at her. To him, she is so subhuman that he does not feel that she deserves to be acknowledged with a glance. Although this does not seem important to the man behind the counter, Pecola strongly picks up on it She knows that he does not even recognize as a human being worth looking at, because she is ugly. This reinforces her attitude that beauty is the only way to gain any respect from others. At the other end of the spectrum is the treatment that she receives from her father. He treats her as if she were a toy that he can use as he pleases. Cholly, Pecola’s father, rapes her without any real concern for her feelings. He does not care what happens to her or how she responds, he is simply looking to fulfill his own desires. He has so little disregard for Pecola’s feelings, that he rapes her on multiple occasions. Pecola thinks that her father does not care about her because she is not beautiful. She becomes obsessed with being the most beautiful person possible. Pecola does not realize that beauty is not the answer to her problems, even when she achieves it. In this story, the standard of beauty that is established—which all members of the community are pressured to conform to—causes overwhelming negative effects all. ?? ??
On a profound scale, every human on earth feels the greatest desire of all, the desire to find ones place in their own community. Throughout all of history, the driving force to fulfill this innate desire for integration has existed as part of the human experience. This is especially important in the lives of the young members of a society. Edward Hall said, “Man learns while he sees and what he learns influences what he sees.” The present societal situation presents us with a duty to help our children integrate into a community in a healthy way, without prejudice, and without self-doubt. Everywhere we turn we are being bombarded by terabytes of visual information via the internet, television, newspapers, magazines, all of which are teeming with well thought out advertisements and subliminal messaging, portraying a certain idea of beauty. Our brains are literally being wired to perceive our society and the current events that affect us in our communities, country, and world, in a uniform, pre-chosen, expected format. Our ability to experience the realities within and without is directly related to our previous and current repetitious stimuli. We will be under the tyranny of our conventional experience, the experience that has been, without a doubt, carefully constructed by corporations, governments, and society at large, so that you will only perceive the suppositions, typecasts, and world-views that seek to perpetuate your bondage.
In order to begin the process of rewiring away from these fixed perceptions we must be conscious of our attention, of our focus both inside and outside of our selves. We can experience a depth of life that did not exist for us before, a glimmer of joy or sadness in a familiar face, a richness of color heretofore not experienced, a beauty of landscape previously overlooked, it is the difference between seeing and not-seeing. Our sight is a powerful gift; with it we have the capacity to join inner and outer landscapes, to bring the contents of mind and the things of the world together. We have to transform our conventional experience of the world into an experience of receptivity, sensitivity, and openness. We do have the capability of seeing beyond the fabricated tunnel vision reality of our society. Padma Hejmad said that “at some point you are seeing so intensely that you become what you see, you merge into the drop of water, until the ‘you’ disappears. The how and whys and wherefores disappear too. Yet when you emerge you are somehow replenished.” We must be willing to open up and face the world; willing to share our heart with others. Our internal awareness can bring beauty into our lives and the lives of all. We are all interconnected in the framework of existence and we must learn to bring richness into our own lives in order to bring richness into the lives of others. In his “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” Martin Luther King Jr., says, “We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” There is nothing that frustrates me more than a fellow human who is so eternally attached to their patterns, and habitual, familiar ideas, that they lack the ability to see something that is right in front of their face. In the words of Kahlil Gibran, “Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.”
-JMS
